All I could think of was I am going be on the streets with a newborn.  But she didn't do that to us.  Instead she paid two months rent for a basement apartment.  So there we were.... in a one bedroom apartment, with a newborn son with colic.

Tony found friends up the street a couple blocks that pretty much partied 24-7.  He would come home every couple days usually to see if his Grandmother had left any money with me.  I learned real quick the minute she had given me money for diapers or food, was to take half of it and hide it.  Because when he found some food or something different in the apartment he knew she had been there.  And would start tearing up the house and beating on me until I gave him the money, and if he thought that I had hidden any from him or spent too  much, the beating was worse.

I had been trying to find a clinic to take my son too for the colic and the shots that I knew he needed to have... we had no telephone.  So any time I needed to make a phone call, I had to bundle up my son and walk the three blocks to a pay phone, in the Illinois January winter.  Finally I found a clinic that would see him, but they wouldn't see him for another three weeks.

Several days later there was a knock on my door.  When I opened the door, I see a lady standing there with a file folder.  She proceeded to tell me that she was from Child Welfare.  At the age of seventeen, the only thing I knew about Child Welfare was that they took people's children from them.   She went on to tell me that they had received a phone call from someone concerning the care of my son was getting.  She refused to tell me who the person was that phone their office.  She went about a search of our apartment, wanting to see his clothes, bed, and food items.  She also requested to know what doctor had his shot records.  I told her that he didn't have his shots yet, because we hadn't stayed in one place long enough for me to get these for him.  At this time she interrupted me and told me how she could take away my child under neglect laws.... This literally scared the hell out of me... I started to cry.  I tried to explain that he had an appointment in a couple weeks with a  clinic to have all that done.  She told me that I had seven days to get his shots and have my son checked to ensure that he was properly being taken care of.  I tried to make her understand that the clinic would not take him any sooner and she could call and make sure that I did have an appointment set up.  All she responded was you have seven days to have proof of these conditions or they would remove my child.  And she slammed the door on her way out.

So here I sit, with no money, no transportation, and no doctor to see my son.  At this time my husband decided to make his stop off for money, and found me in tears on the floor holding my son.  When he asked "What the hell was wrong with me?"  I explained to him what the lady had said.  I laid the baby down to follow him in order that he could listen while he searched for what ever it was he wanted.  At one point, he turned around and bumped into me.  Well that is all it took. I promptly got a fist in the face.  As I stood there in shock, he continued to scream at me for being stupid, by not having a doctor in time.  I told him that it wasn't my fault that they couldn't see him sooner.  Words spoken got me hit several more times... and hearing him scream at me that I should just let them take the little son of a bitch and be done with it.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing, my knees buckled and I slid to the floor in tears.